Technical Training Issues

Posted on July 20, 2010. Filed under: cycle, ness, run, shakey, swim, triathlon |

Okay, so last week with the shoulder injury there was no swim or gym training. However, my run mileage for the week was 21 miles (a 6 mile long run and the calf held up well) and I completed 65 wet and windy miles on the bike. To the trained eye it is probably apparent that unless I have a basket and a bell that there are not enough miles for my promised 4.5 hour bike on Sunday. Now a funny thing happened there – I woke up on Sunday with what I can only describe as a pernicious virus possibly from the same strain as ebola. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour I chose to spend the day in loungewear sipping small amounts of water watching Le Tour live on Eurosport.

I was on the verge of calling NHS24 to seek advice on euthanasia when Pam reminded me that I had fallen off the wagon at Jane and Gary’s wedding. As well as nausea, amnesia was taking it’s toll as events remained unclear despite Pam’s clarification. By all accounts I had been gripped by my fear of going home while there might still be something exciting happening and could only be convinced to go when the lights were switched off. My post-mortem identified several pints of Carling as aperitifs, Jaeger Bombs (thanks Knight Rider), Baby Guinness (thanks Shakey), Tequila (thanks Marvin) and then the whole lot again (cheers Deek). It was neither big nor clever.

And my alcohol problems didn’t end there. Still wallowing in the wife beater on Sunday night it dawned on me that the car remained abandoned. It was going to be tough to get out of bed but, no problem I thought, I’ll just jog (yes, a jog – this was never going to be a run) to get the car in the morning. So just before 630am I set off for a 4.5mile run to the car which as a result of an early morning heatwave was going to hurt a lot. Now, alcohol plays havoc with hydration and about 8 metres into the run it first crossed my mind that I needed a pee but I pressed on like an apprentice ironman. About 3km later events were rapidly overtaking me and I started investigating bushes but none provided sufficient cover for a large, dehydrated Shrek-like runner with dashing hi-viz stripes. I have pretty good local knowledge from my long marathon training runs so I knew I wasn’t far from a suitably sheltered country lane. As I fumbled with the lace on my shorts I was preoccuppied in equal measure by my bladder and large, scary, waist height nettles waving menacingly in the breeze. Paradise found, my relief was instant until I looked up and remembered that my marathon training was in the deep mid-winter and, without cover of darkness, the lady-blow drying her hair in the upstairs bedroom of the previously darkened semi had a clear view of the low point of my weekend of shame. At this point the jog accelerated to a run before the police were alerted.

All is not lost, however, this week was scheduled to be a recovery week so with a quick shoogle of the programme I should be back on plan by the end of the week. I still haven’t quite worked out the swimming thing yet but how hard could it be??

Maintaining the alcohol theme as I enter a fortnight of abstinence I discovered an interesting fact from the Anaphylaxis Campaign’s magazine today. I thoroughly enjoy a Gin & Tonic – my preference is normally Hendricks with a slice of cucumber (don’t judge me – remember I am going to swim with a broken shoulder and that is very manly!!) but I am also partial to a Bombay Sapphire. However, Bombay is infused through a mix of ingredients which includes almond oil and if, in ignorance, I were to drink it and then kiss my nephew I may put him in hospital. You won’t read about that on the label and this is the kind of manufacturer and consumer education that I am trying to support through the Anaphylaxis Campaign. Please give generously, even a little can make a big difference……..


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2 Responses to “Technical Training Issues”

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He really does run like Shrek!


The picture is not pretty – a chaffying Lycra covered shrek that gets bucked off the sultry temperous and then pees in an innocent victims garden …. What could possibly happen next ….. K


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