The Celebrity Edition

Posted on July 29, 2010. Filed under: cycle, ness, run, shakey, swim, triathlon |

Oh yes, the blog has finally made the big time and this morning I achieved my first celebrity endorsement.  The ladies could scroll down for some gratuitous eye-candy but it would show a level of decorum and decency to stick with my chat for at least another couple of paragraphs. 

It was a balmy old Fife night tonight but I popped the trainers on after work and managed my longest long run since the marathon – a whole 10.5 miles or 16.8k for the more metrically minded like me.  It was a tough old slog which included a bit of abuse from the young neds outside Asda – it’s like we’ve got a thing now – they shout stuff at me (god knows what because I have an ipod on) and I flick them the bird.  If ever I give up running it will be like a deep sense of bereavement that I won’t see the boys anymore.  The good news is that the calf held up well, chafing was limited to very superficial damage on the hip and my feet didn’t get too hot. 

The last real long distance training event will be at the weekend when I do a brick (bike ride and then straight into a run) which will be a 4 hour ride followed by a one hour run.  I don’t care what anyone says – that is hard and made worse by the current weather and made so, so, so much worse by leaving night from the finance team tomorrow night.  Having been dry for two weeks I face the evening with a sense of trepidation and already fear another Saturday on the sofa in my wife-beater wondering when I’ll chunder.  I think there was something nice and reassuring in the old days when I didn’t get hangovers!!

So, for those interested in the biomechanics of my newly invented swimming technique you are going to have to wait for a future blog.  Loch trials were delayed when Shakey, the training partner, ate far too many chips and couldn’t squeeze into her wetsuit.  Pam, as self-styled official support crew and long suffering wife (she really has no concept how lucky she is!) decided the wetsuit would close and removed about 4 inches of Shakey’s back as it was nipped in the zip.  It closed for sure but there was no dignity left and no chance of swimming, or moving, or breathing.  So next week is the last chance for a bit of cold water acclimatisation and to prove the concept that you can actually go forwards when you swim with one arm.  Interestingly, I took the broken shoulder to the physio today and she looks like she has given up.  She is convinced it was quite a bad dislocation in addition to the fracture and that I shouldn’t have been able to remount the Temptress and ride for another half hour.  Apart from generally being hard as nails I didn’t tell her that about 45 minutes after the crash I was anaesthetising with a Stella and kept the medication up for 48hours – sure beats Neurofen!  I have a bit of muscle wastage on the arms and shoulder now and she has started referring to my arms as the “chicken wings”.  Unbelievably, in the last few weeks I have lost about 5lbs and my breeks aren’t any looser so I can only assume it’s because of the chicken arms.

Mark Foster takes Gold in World Chest Shaving Champs 2010

OK, to unveil the celebrity endorsement.  I discovered that Mark Foster was the patron of the Anaphylaxis Campaign and that we have an awful lot in common.  He is a few months older than me, we swam at the same time and he just pipped me for Olympics places in Seoul and Barcelona (hey, we’ve all got Mark Foster fantasies!!).  I have also noticed he is always photographed from the waist up so I can only assume that, like me, he also has clinically diagnosed stumpy legs (my inside leg is 28″ despite being nearly 6’4″).  Mark is 6’6″ so he could look very odd with short stumps.  Anyway, the endorsement……

“Best of luck with your triathlons Dougie.  It’s a big challenge but it’s a great event and thank you for choosing to support the Anaphylaxis Campaign.  A friend of mine died of this terrible condition and it’s so important that we raise the profile of the charity in any way we can”.  Mark Foster, 5 time Olympic swimmer.

Since unveiling this information to a few ladies and gents this morning I have been asked by several people whether I have his email address or mobile number.  I am sworn to secrecy, and I am generally scared for the man particularly if Pam, Shakey, Mandy or any other number of man worriers get a hold of him – so no comment.

With each day I am managing to raise a little more money for the Anaphylaxis Campaign and I have now raised over £2.2k and hopefully people have learnt a little more about the Campaign and what it is like to live with severe allergies.  Although I have gone through my target I am still pushing on with fundraising until I have finished the three events.  If you haven’t had the opportunity yet please don’t be shy – do it for Mark!

Thanks for all the kind contributions so far.


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2 Responses to “The Celebrity Edition”

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Is Shakey like Stig on Top Gear…. or just your imaginary friend….. Peronally, I think you have dressed up and claim to have a companion…Mum is so proud… she set basic skills to your narrow Olympic miss…. and to think you wanted to do rugby….and now….well she too would like to get in touch with Mark obviously in a purely 'professional' manner


There's no way that man has stumpy legs btw…


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